The Cruise of the Condor

The Cruise of the Condor

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Eye of the Buddha - Part 2

Our heroes, Countess Ripya Korzetov and Professor Algernon Cholmondley-Warner advance up the temple steps at a walk, braving the bullets whistling past their heads. Algy is hit, staggers but stays upright with his health reduced to d6. Ripya makes her health checks. Ankh su Namun and Aard B’Astaard are content to stay where they are, shooting it out to give Mustapha Goat time to prise the giant ruby from the Buddha statue.

Amidst the hail storm of bullets, there are bound to be casualties. Aard B’Astaard, suffering wounds from the round before and now hit again by Ripya and ‘Barmy’ goes down, but he manages to take ‘Barmy’ down with him.
With great precision, Algy levels his revolver at Ankh, steadies himself, pulls the trigger……CLICK……pulls the trigger again…………CLICK……….”Buggeration, I could have sworn I reloaded!” The League of Quite Nasty People have played the ‘Out of Ammo’ card just at the crucial moment. Ankh is still unhurt.
Meanwhile down at the crates………………the plucky Gussie has been knocked down again, this time with a swipe around the head from the butt of Seldum’s Lee Enfield. Gussie swears to himself that if he makes it out of this lot alive, he’ll give up exploring and take up rose growing in his cottage in Surrey!
Things are going from bad to worse for the League of Quite Nasty People. Otto’s down and apparently dead, Captain Aard B’Astaard is down and bleeding profusely. ……..and now, as Mustapha is trying to extract the Eye of the Buddha with his penknife, he fails his peril test, is bitten by an irate scorpion and goes down as well. Ankh seizes the only opportunity left to her and rushes to take Mustapha’ place with her health now down to d6.
During the recovery phase the archaeologists have all the luck. ‘Barmy’ Fotheringay-Phipps climbs slowly to his feet feeling like he’s been run over by a rhino, but ready to play a straight bat to the wicket. Aard B’Astaard and Mustapha stay down and take no further part in the game. Dame Hilda Rumpole comes running up the steps to reinforce the archaeologists.
In the next turn the archaeologists feel that they are better placed to gun down Ankh in cold blood rather than to turn things into an unseemly brawl. Consequently, Dame Hilda, ‘Barmy’, Ripya and Algy empty their guns in her general direction! Amazing dice throwing results in Ankh still standing as if she has cast some sort of protective aura around herself. She goes on to pass her peril and random challenge with ease and the Eye of the Buddha is hers! The League of Quite Ordinary Archaeologists can only look on in astonishment. Will Ankh su Namun get away with the Eye even though her league is dying around her?

For the third time, Gussie Finknottle hauls himself to his feet, full of British pluck, only to be knocked straight back down again as a laughing Seldum Bin-Laid punches his lights out!

Seizing her moment with innate cunning, Ankh runs to the high wall of the temple and jumps off, clutching the Eye of the Buddha to her ample bosom. She passes the peril of the jump and is now within running distance of the edge of the board with one turn left. If she can only last…….

The League of Quite Ordinary Archaeologists run to the edge of the wall to see if Ankh survived the jump and are stunned to see her on her feet with the jewel in her hands, preparing to make a break for freedom. Their first impulse is to drop down on top of her but Ripya holds them back, “Niet, ve finish dis de vay it started” and with that she draws her Tokarev pistol and she and the rest of the league (with the exception of Gussie who is unconscious with a fractured skull) open fire on Ankh.

The result is inevitable as Ankh goes down in a veritable monsoon of lead, dropping the Eye of the Buddha as she falls to the ground, apparently riddled with bullets.
Algy and Hilda jump down and rush to help Gussie and incidentally, take possession of the stolen rocket pack hidden in the crates.
‘Barmy’ and Ripya also jump down and scoop up the Eye of the Buddha from where Ankh dropped it.
Whilst they are admiring their new-found treasures (+1 gear and +1 contacts), none of the League of Quite Ordinary Archaeologists notice Seldum Bin-Laid carrying off the unconscious form of Ankh su Namun. Will the League of Quite Nasty People live to fight another day? Will Gussie retire to Surrey and spend his days growing roses? Will Ankh su Namun succeed in reincarnating Dorstep? Will I write another game report? Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of men?
Love those Pulp Alley rules.

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